"'Hallo Rabbit,' he said, 'is that you?'..."

"...'Let's pretend it isn't,' said Rabbit, 'and see what happens.'"

I've never been a pet person. You know how some people class themselves as animal lovers? Yeah, I'm not one of them. I've got nothing against animals, I think they're very cute and I like having a cuddle, but I've always been happy to hand them back afterwards.

We never had hamsters or a dog or anything, but I remember our family cat when I was a tiddler (under 6). I remember her trying to sit on my lap and doing that thing that all cats do - kneading your thighs to get comfy. I found it unbearable. You know the sensation when someone jabs you in the sides and it kinda tickles, kinda hurts, but basically makes you squeal and jump away? That's what it was like for me. And obviously with me tensing up and trying not to squirm underneath, the kitty never gets comfy and just spends longer doing its torturous massage. Inevitably it ends with kitty sinking her claws into my tender legs and me jumping out of my seat cartoon-style.

Well I was always told that this reaction was because I was so young and my legs were a bit too small for our cat to get comfy. THAT WAS A LIE. I still cannot abide the sensation of a kitty walking across my lap. I like it when they settle and you have the warm furry ball to stroke, but rarely can I engage in mind-over-body mediation long enough for that to happen. I have to employ the services of a cushion, which really isn't as successful in attracting cat attention. Kitty wants warm legs, not a still cushion that either sinks in the middle or topples to the side if not perfectly balanced. All in all, I am happy to remain pet-free and thus free of negotiating the traumatic experience of lap sitting. Not to mention the lack of responsibility and cost... 

So when we got the green light from our landlord to get rabbits, I was fairly nonplussed. Never had rabbits, never wanted them. Obviously thought they were cute, but really never saw the attraction. Imagine my surprise when I got home from a weekend away yesterday to two darling little fluff-balls and fell in love. One is a teeny tiny sandy coloured bunny, and one is a slightly bigger grey lionhead bad boy. Fucking adorable. The whole house can now be found regularly sitting round the garden cooing over the new additions, overreacting at every nibble and every whisker twitch.

But you know the best bit? They are officially my housemate's so I don't have to clean them, feed them or pay for them. Genius. Why has no one thought of this before? Difficult to orchestrate, I grant you, but the best arrangement certainly.

*Quote from A. A. Milne