I have kept a diary since I was about 13 or 14. At times in my life I have written every day, other times it's been more sporadic. I'm not really sure what I write about...I tend to shove everything in there that I shouldn't share with the people around me.
It's great to read back on; remember how I felt about something, see how I coped before if I'm encountering a similar problem, trying to remember the good/bad things about something or someone when I can only feel the opposite...
- If I'm worrying and ruminating incessantly about something, and everyone is sick of the back teeth of hearing me talk about it, I can fill up a few pages full of every possibly scenario...and it's out, I feel better.
- If I'm in two minds about doing something (going somewhere, messaging someone, etc) I can list out all the pros and cons - even if they are things I wouldn't necessarily want to share with someone!
- If I am so full of a feeling and I just want to capture it in some way... I am a verbal creature and I am most comfortable using words rather than any other creative outlet.
- If I am lacking in feeling and I want to assess what's wrong...
- If I have resolved to do something (lose weight, stop smoking etc.) recording that resolution in the diary makes it feel more official, harder to break.
This month I resolved to write in my diary every day. It's been a couple of years since I've consistently written in my diary, and my head feels untidier for it.
Although (surprise surprise) I didn't remember to write every night, I'm not too bothered. There were nights I wrote and didn't have a lot to say. I think the whole exercise has been beneficial - when I'm troubled I will think to vent in the diary sooner - but it reinforces that a diary is a creature born of desire. A need to write, not just a record of what I did or thought that day. It is an overflow space for my brain, not my calendar.
*Quote from Pablo Neruda
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