"I have not failed..."

"...I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."


Today is my 10,000th day alive.

My 10,000th diemverary, if you like. (And I do like.)

Now I am officially old, I have come to realise that I don't really give a crap what other people think of me anymore.

Now I realise that many people probably never cared too much about what people thought of them, and I am know for unashamably being a weirdo, but there are certain things that I just can't be bothered to care about anymore.

1. Noisy wees. 
I'm sure it's different for men, but we ladies can find it a bit cringy when we wee noisily in a public loo. I know this isn't just me because you'll hear someone start to tinkle, then stop after a couple of seconds and try again. They are trying to muffle the noise. 
I don't know why we ever cared, but it's stupid. Why would anyone judge you for a noisy wee? What are they going to do? Drop by your table 5 minutes later and mention to your mates "Your mate, that blonde one there, pisses like a HORSE!" If anything, that would be hilarious.
Anyway, I have noticed that I now wee away and do not stifle my urination.
Personal growth? I think so.

2. Being a fatty.
I have a bad habit of booking gym classes, like a good human, and then cancelling them on the day because I want to go home and sit instead. Or go to the pub. And I've always felt guilty about this in the past, particularly when others are proper gym bunnies, but I have now reached an age where I just don't care who knows if I am ridiculously lazy.
Maybe my purpose in life is to make others feel better about themselves? Who cares!

3. Being a fool at work.
Anyone who works with me might be surprised to know I ever tried to conceal my idoicy, but it is true. I am clumsy. I am excitable. I am easily amused by immature things ("Where's the stapler?" "UP YOUR BUM!"). And sometimes I forget the limitations of my own body. Example - I was sitting at my desk the other morning, legs curled up under me as usual, when I had to go to someone else's desk to discuss something. I got up, stepped out, and realised my entire leg was numb. So I fell - slowly - arms flailing and possibly shrieking slightly. One of the Members (AKA An Important Person) turns to my boss and says "Is she fit for work?" obviously thinking I was still drunk from the dinner the night before. My boss, the amazing woman she is, replied "Yeah, she's pretty much like that all the time."
Been there almost two years people, no need to hide my inner-idiot.

There are other things but, as I mentioned previously, I am lazy and I can't be bothered to list anymore.

My name is Philly, I am 10,000 days old, and I am an odd human - and proud.


*Quote from Thomas Edison