"What good is the warmth of summer..."

"...without the cold of winter to give it sweetness."


This month was one I had planned since I started this New Year's thingamabob:

To go swimming in the Hampstead Heath Ponds. 

It's been quite a busy month actually, so there was only one weekend with the opportunity to go. Which was pretty early in the month. And I was chicken. 

But, true to form, I figured I'd just go ahead and do it anyway. Didn't have a swimsuit, but after doctoring a too-big bikini top (Tesco's finest) and buying some very lairy swimming shorts, I was good to go.

We had a bit of a faff getting in - CB and I had no change on us as we didn't know about the £2 cover charge, so we too a walk into Hampstead to get some out. Then we walked all the way back to find out we could get in for free with our work passes. Sigh...

It was very busy there, everyone camped out on their towels like sardines, but everyone was friendly and I was happy to leave my bag while I went off for a swim.

CB and I both opted for the 'whole-body-submersion' technique, rather than 'gradually-lowering-yourself-in", and I was very grateful as it was FREEZING. After some brisk swimming (staying mainly in the sunshiney patches) you do warm up, and it feels very refreshing. Plus the joy of being in a park rather than a swimming pool is very novel to me and I absolutely loved it.

We went for two swims, but the second one was cut short by my incessant goose pimples. In fact, once we got out I noticed my fingernails were a lovely blueish hue, and the feeling in the pad of my right thumb didn't come back until later that night!

Despite the frostbite, I would thoroughly recommend this to everyone, and will happily accompany anyone who is unsure!

*Quote from John Steinbeck

"I have not failed..."

"...I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."


Today is my 10,000th day alive.

My 10,000th diemverary, if you like. (And I do like.)

Now I am officially old, I have come to realise that I don't really give a crap what other people think of me anymore.

Now I realise that many people probably never cared too much about what people thought of them, and I am know for unashamably being a weirdo, but there are certain things that I just can't be bothered to care about anymore.

1. Noisy wees. 
I'm sure it's different for men, but we ladies can find it a bit cringy when we wee noisily in a public loo. I know this isn't just me because you'll hear someone start to tinkle, then stop after a couple of seconds and try again. They are trying to muffle the noise. 
I don't know why we ever cared, but it's stupid. Why would anyone judge you for a noisy wee? What are they going to do? Drop by your table 5 minutes later and mention to your mates "Your mate, that blonde one there, pisses like a HORSE!" If anything, that would be hilarious.
Anyway, I have noticed that I now wee away and do not stifle my urination.
Personal growth? I think so.

2. Being a fatty.
I have a bad habit of booking gym classes, like a good human, and then cancelling them on the day because I want to go home and sit instead. Or go to the pub. And I've always felt guilty about this in the past, particularly when others are proper gym bunnies, but I have now reached an age where I just don't care who knows if I am ridiculously lazy.
Maybe my purpose in life is to make others feel better about themselves? Who cares!

3. Being a fool at work.
Anyone who works with me might be surprised to know I ever tried to conceal my idoicy, but it is true. I am clumsy. I am excitable. I am easily amused by immature things ("Where's the stapler?" "UP YOUR BUM!"). And sometimes I forget the limitations of my own body. Example - I was sitting at my desk the other morning, legs curled up under me as usual, when I had to go to someone else's desk to discuss something. I got up, stepped out, and realised my entire leg was numb. So I fell - slowly - arms flailing and possibly shrieking slightly. One of the Members (AKA An Important Person) turns to my boss and says "Is she fit for work?" obviously thinking I was still drunk from the dinner the night before. My boss, the amazing woman she is, replied "Yeah, she's pretty much like that all the time."
Been there almost two years people, no need to hide my inner-idiot.

There are other things but, as I mentioned previously, I am lazy and I can't be bothered to list anymore.

My name is Philly, I am 10,000 days old, and I am an odd human - and proud.


*Quote from Thomas Edison

"Green was the silence, wet was the light..."

"...The month of June trembled like a butterfly."


I have kept a diary since I was about 13 or 14. At times in my life I have written every day, other times it's been more sporadic. I'm not really sure what I write about...I tend to shove everything in there that I shouldn't share with the people around me.

It's great to read back on; remember how I felt about something, see how I coped before if I'm encountering a similar problem, trying to remember the good/bad things about something or someone when I can only feel the opposite...

• If I'm worrying and ruminating incessantly about something, and everyone is sick of the back teeth of hearing me talk about it, I can fill up a few pages full of every possibly scenario...and it's out, I feel better. 

• If I'm in two minds about doing something (going somewhere, messaging someone, etc) I can list out all the pros and cons - even if they are things I wouldn't necessarily want to share with someone!
  
• If I am so full of a feeling and I just want to capture it in some way... I am a verbal creature and I am most comfortable using words rather than any other creative outlet.
  
• If I am lacking in feeling and I want to assess what's wrong...
  
• If I have resolved to do something (lose weight, stop smoking etc.) recording that resolution in the diary makes it feel more official, harder to break.

This month I resolved to write in my diary every day. It's been a couple of years since I've consistently written in my diary, and my head feels untidier for it.

Although (surprise surprise) I didn't remember to write every night, I'm not too bothered. There were nights I wrote and didn't have a lot to say. I think the whole exercise has been beneficial - when I'm troubled I will think to vent in the diary sooner - but it reinforces that a diary is a creature born of desire. A need to write, not just a record of what I did or thought that day. It is an overflow space for my brain, not my calendar.


*Quote from Pablo Neruda

"The world's favorite season is the spring..."

"...All things seem possible in May."


This month I was supposed to complete attempt Tough Mudder, a ridiculous assault course for the mightiest of Phillies. Which, of course, I am.

Unfortunately, owing to reasons I am not at liberty to discuss (but I swear are proper legitimate reasons, not just me being a wuss) we had to postpone it until next year.

But fear not Philly Fans! Instead, this month I witnessed something I have wanted to see for months...

I saw the International Space Station.

I was round my Sister's house, which is in rural Essex and has an absolutely fantastic view of open countryside. It was very late, my Sister had gone to bed and my Brother-in-Law and I were up watching Spartacus and drinking cider. At about 1am we checked the ISS app, and saw it was due to grace our skies in half an hour. I set an alarm, and we continued to drink. However, my stupid alarm never went off, and we missed it. We were not happies. We checked the app again and saw a better pass was expected at 3am. We were already sleepy, but decided to power through and stay up to watch it.

Short story, we struggled to stay awake, but a few minutes before 3am we huddled in a blanket and shuffled down to the end of the garden. And it was SO WORTH IT.

The ISS went across the whole sky. I was worried I wouldn't recognise it, but it goes so quickly and is so bright I needn't have. It's so beautiful. I follow NASA etc on Twitter, so I see a lot of the photos they post from up there...and knowing the astronauts were up there looking down on us was mind-boggling.

I will totally stay up and see it again, and I urge all of you to download the free app and see it too.


*Quote from Edwin Way Teale

"It was a bright cold day in April..."

"...and the clocks were striking thirteen."


This month I forgot to resolve anything in particular, so April has been a bit mixed.

I spent the first weekend in Paris, the second in Amsterdam, the third in deepest Essex, and the fourth in our nation's capital.

I started consistently bringing lunch in from home, or stocking my locker at work with soup. Woo.

I attended the gym each week (although that was more in preparation for next month's challenge...which is now cancelled...plus I didn't actually go this week as I had a tantrum...)

I saw two short plays directed by an old friend. Which were superb and really made me think.

I completed a murder mystery treasure-hunt. That was brilliant actually.

I saw Oppenheimer at the Vaudeville. Which was fantastically wacky and horribly upsetting.

I moved house, though technically that was the end of March...

I ate a couple of Easter Eggs.

Running out of things to write now....sigh...


I'm sorry this is a really dull post! It really wasn't a dull month...



*Quote from George Orwell

"It is the first mild day of March:..."

"...Each minute sweeter than before..."

 

Bonjour Mars! 

This month I resolved to: Learn French.

Or Do Duolingo Every day. 

Or something like that.

And I only went and did it! Well done me!

This may not seem like such an achievement, but I am very very bad at languages. I had three years of German lessons at school, but it was very much an uphill battle, and I dropped the subject as soon as I could.

I decided on French (rather than picking up my tatty German) as I’m off to Paris for Easter weekend (such is my glamorous life) and I thought it might be nice to be able to make pleasantries at least.

Now originally I hoped to write this whole bloglet in French, but my skills are waaaay below the level needed to do that, so instead please find below some of my favourite Duolingo phrases:

I particularly enjoy the use of exclamation marks.... Anyway, after it got over lemons and bears, Duolingo got a little bit existential...

 And then it just got rude:

Still at least they are only words. Sticks and stones and all that.
My work colleagues, however, take things to another level...

They killed my fruit friend! Monsters...

*Quote from Wordsworth

"In the depths of winter..."

"...I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer."


Welcome to February!

Sorry it is the last day of Feb. No excuse, I'm just a terrible blog writer.

My resolution for February was less intense than January, I only resolved to do one thing.

Climb the O2. (Dun dun durrrrr...)

I spent the weekend at my lovely friend's house in Warwick, and arrived back in London on the16th to conquer the Dome. With my CB in tow, I rocked up, got kitted out, and set off.

The weather was horrific, really grim. Freezing wind and buckets of rain. We were head to toe in waterproofs (sexy) and had heavy harnesses swinging from our waists (fit).

It wasn't as slippery as I thought it would be, but it was really bouncy! The view was obviously lovely,but hard to enjoy it in the pouring rain. Plus we were climbing with a bunch of chavs - seriously, who knew chavs were still a thing?!

So yeah...probably wouldn't do it again, or recommend it really, but it was a fun outing and I'm glad I tried it.


*Quote from Albert Camus